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Dumb Dog


A butcher is working, and really busy. He notices a dog in his shop and shoos him away. Later, he notices the dog is back again. He walks over to the dog, and notices it has a note in its mouth. The butcher takes the note, and it reads, “Can I have 12 sausages and a leg of lamb, please.”

The butcher looks, and lo and behold, There’s money in the dog’s mouth. So the butcher takes the money, puts the sausages and lamb in a bag, and places it in the dog’s mouth.

The butcher is very impressed, and since it’s closing time, he decides to close up shop and follow the dog.

So, off he goes. The dog is walking down the street and comes to a crossing. The dog puts down the bag, jumps up and presses the crossing button. Then he waits patiently, bag in mouth, for the lights to change. They do, and he walks across the road, with the butcher following. The dog then comes to a bus stop and starts looking at the timetable. The butcher is in awe at this stage. The dog checks out the times and sits on one of the seats to wait for the bus. Along comes a bus. The dog walks to the front of the bus, looks at the number, and goes back to his seat. Another bus comes. Again the dog goes and looks at the number, notices it’s the right bus and climbs on. The butcher, by now open-mouthed, follows him onto the bus. The bus travels through town and out to the suburbs. Eventually, the dog gets up, moves to the front of the bus, and standing on his hind legs, pushes the button to stop the bus. The dog gets off, groceries still in his mouth, and the butcher still following. They walk down the road, and the dog approaches a house. He walks up the path and drops the groceries on the step. Then he walks back down the path, takes a big run, and throws himself -whap!- against the door. He goes back down the path, takes another run, and throws himself -whap!- against the door again!

There’s no answer at the door, so the dog goes back down the path, jumps up on a narrow wall, and walks along the perimeter of the garden. He gets to a window and bangs his head against it several times. He walks back, jumps off the wall, and waits at the door. The butcher watches as a big guy opens the door, and starts laying into the dog, really yelling at him.

The butcher runs up and stops the guy. “What are you doing? This dog is a genius. He could be on TV!”

To which the guy responds, “Clever, my foot! This is the second time this week he’s forgotten his key!”


6 responses to “Dumb Dog”

  1. john liming Avatar

    Yes, this was a very refreshing post, Herb and I enjoyed reading it. Thank you. Now … I notice that I have to enter my name website and g-mail each time I want to comment on your blog. Is there a way you can make commenting a little easier than that?

    1. Herb Avatar

      Thanks for visiting and thanks for your patience with that. I will have to work on that, I guess. Since I self-host I wind up with different options than people using

      1. john liming Avatar

        I notice that you wear a cowboy hat, Herb. Are you from Texas or somewhere? The reason I wear a cowboy hat is because I spent considerable time in
        Dallas/Fort Worth, San Antonio, and a few other towns, hamlets, cities and outposts when I was a young lad … almost a century ago now … and the scent of burning sage, pan-fried steaks, range beans, Big Chief “Coffee-That-Walks”, fresh horse pies and saddle leather stuck with me all these years. I feel kin to anybody with Western Blood or a Western heart.

        1. Herb Avatar

          Yes, sir. I live in Colorado now for the last 32 years. Before that, I grew up in Wisconsin, but I’ve worn a cowboy hat and cowboy boots since I was a young teenager, even though they used to mock me for it. I love the West and have always loved the outdoors.

  2. Lydia Avatar

    Really cool post!

    1. Herb Avatar

      Thanks! You are a very encouraging person.

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