Herb’s Blog, Herbdate 23275 – 1164
Here’s the haps:
Not much time to work on the blog but I have found these items. A few from the archives and a few from traveling in cyberspace.
Oh, and this, inspired by a large number of my family members who say I do this. A daughter recently sent me this and said, “Dad, you do this all the time.” The truth is that there are so many songs for so many occasions it’s so easy to pop out with them. Of course, if I knew how to carry a tune in a bushel basket, it might be more fun for those around me:
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Russian, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, Two Kiwis, a German, an American, a Canadian, a Cypriot, an Egyptian, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Romanian, a Dane, an Israeli, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Greek, a Norwegian, an Ethiopian, a Nigerian, a Guatemalan, a Slovenian, and a Chilean walk into a nightclub.
The bouncer steps in front of the group. “Sorry, I can’t let you in without a Thai.”
I lost my wife’s audiobook. Now I’ll never hear the end of it.
Herb went into the Home Depot store and told one of the employees that he wanted to buy a chainsaw to cut down trees. The employee said, “I’ve got just what you need! Look at this beauty, it can cut down 100 trees a day!” He liked it, bought it, and went home. The next week he went back to Home Depot with an angry face and told the employee, “This saw is terrible! I could only cut down 50 trees a day!” The employee answers, “I’m sorry to hear that, sir. Look, we’ve got an even better option: this new electric saw that can cut 200 trees a day!” Herb’s face lights up, he returns the old saw and buys the new one. One week later he comes back with an even angrier face and demands of the employee, “You told me I could cut down 200 trees with this saw, but I can only cut down 100! I want my money back!” The employee apologizes, “I am truly sorry to hear that. Look, we just got this brand new, state-of-the-art chainsaw that can cut 400 trees a day!” Again, he returns the old saw and happily buys the new one. One week passes and the guy storms into Home Depot. He yells, “I am fed up! No matter what I did, I could only cut down 200 trees a day!” The employee says, “Okay sir, let me have a look at the saw.” So the employee takes the saw and cranks it up. The sound of the motor can be heard throughout the whole shop. Herb looks at the employee in disbelief and asks, “What is that sound‽‽‽”