Herb’s Blog, Herbdate 22930 – 1018
Here’s the haps:
Sometimes you have to make conversions in a hurry and a little chart showing, for example, how many ounces in a cup to how many cups in a pint and that sort of thing can be very useful, like these:
Ratio of an igloo’s circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi
2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton
1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope
Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: 1 bananosecond
Weight an evangelist carries with God: 1 billigram
Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: Knot-furlong
365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it’s less filling: 1 lite year
16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: 1 Rod Serling
Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon
1000 aches: 1 kilohurtz
Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower
Shortest distance between two jokes: A straight line.
453.6 graham crackers: 1 pound cake
1 million microphones: 1 megaphone
1 million bicycles: 2 megacycles
2000 mockingbirds: 2 kilomockingbirds
10 cards: 1 decacards
1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 Fig Newton
1000 cubic centimeters of wet socks: 1 literhosen
1 millionth of a fish: 1 microfiche
1 trillion pins: 1 terrapin
10 rations: 1 decoration
100 rations: 1 C-ration
2 monograms: 1 diagram
8 nickels: 2 paradigms
3 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital: 1 I.V. League
100 Senators: Not 1 decision
This is great. It reminds me of something I said years ago “I heard that the population growth was causing the earth to move closer to the Dog Star. Yep People are taking the world too Sirius” 🤣😎🙃
🤣😂🤣😂These comments are going to the dogs.
They certainly are ruff 🤣😎🙃
You lost me after the first ridiculous comment…..
I’m not sure which of these puns is the very, very, VERY worst, but I’ll have a wonderful time reading them over to make sure… 🤣
I still can’t EVEN decide! I’ll let you know if I ever narrow it down to three finalists ..😆
Thanks for the daily pun-ishment Herb. Hope all is well. Allan
You’re welcome. Yes, all is well.
Are you talking front yardsticks or back yardsticks?
I once read that the torque generated by a cop walking a beat is measured in foot pounds.