Day 6 of my parents’ visit
“Thursday. This must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays.” … Arthur Dent.
The appointment time has come. First over to the hospital to get new x-rays taken, then to the doctor’s office. Mom says, “It sure would be nice if I got that same nurse I had when I went to the emergency room the first time. I think she was my angel, Herbie. You could just feel the love coming out of her.”
“You never know what could happen, ma.”
We are sitting in the pulmonologist’s office waiting room. This guy is really a good doctor. Some people talk to my mom in a condescending manner, but he only showed the utmost respect for her. Margaret went along on this visit again. She has been very gracious and sensitive and kind to my mom. The folks and I are sitting in the waiting room for a while, talking while Margaret is taking care of last minute details. The doctor has determined that mom has more fluid on the lung again and needs to have another thoracentesis done before she gets on the plane and since it is Margaret’s schedule that is most important, she does the scheduling. She decides to take Friday morning off so we can get it all done.
While this is going on, Ma says, “I just don’t understand it Herbie.”
“Understand what, ma?”
“Why doesn’t God heal me? He’s healed so many other people, I’ve seen it, you’ve seen it, and sometimes just like that, too, so why doesn’t he heal me? I know he can do it. I thought I was healed. I felt it.”
Awkward silence on my part for a moment. “Well, ma, we just have to take each day by itself. You know your favorite song is One Day at a Time, Sweet Jesus and we just have to take each day as it comes.”
“Oh I know Herbie. I still love God and trust Him and everything, I just don’t understand is all.”
After a while things are back to “normal” and Margaret and I discuss by ourselves the stages of grief and loss, e.g., denial, anger, acceptance, etc.
Tabitha and Isabel have made this wonderful strawberry cake with a strawberry cream cheese frosting. They got the recipe from a book called “The Cake Mix Doctor.” Some of you bakers will know that the author of this cookbook takes regular box cake mixes and “doctors” them up, thus the name. My mom’s birthday is later this month and they wanted to do something nice for her, to celebrate. This was exactly the right thing to do. Ma was smiling and happy at being the center of attention as everyone sang to her. This really made her happy.
Remember, the Good Book says, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither areyour ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.”