Herb’s Blog, Herbdate 23281 – 1166
Here’s the haps:
A couple of funnies from the archives (and of course memes) that are loosely related to age as I work on some additional new material as well:
A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.
After a few minutes, the disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked, “Say, Father, what causes arthritis?”
“Mister, it’s caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, and a contempt for your fellow man.”
“Wow,” the drunk muttered, returning to his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. “I’m very sorry, I didn’t mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?”
“I don’t have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does.”
They had lived together in the backwoods for over fifty years. To celebrate their fiftieth anniversary, he took her to a large city and they checked into a plush hotel.
She said to the bellman, “We refuse to settle for such a small room. No windows, no bed, and no air conditioning.”
“But, madam!”, replied the bellman.
“Don’t ‘But madam’ me,” she continued. “You can’t treat us like we’re a couple of fools just because we don’t travel much, and we’ve never been to the big city, and never spent the night at a hotel. I’m going to complain to the manager.”
“Madam,” the bellman said, “this isn’t your room; this is the elevator!”