Herb’s Blog, Herbdate 23281 – 1166
Here’s the haps:
A couple of funnies from the archives (and of course memes) that are loosely related to age as I work on some additional new material as well:
Arthritis
A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.
After a few minutes, the disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked, “Say, Father, what causes arthritis?”
“Mister, it’s caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, and a contempt for your fellow man.”
“Wow,” the drunk muttered, returning to his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. “I’m very sorry, I didn’t mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?”
“I don’t have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does.”
50th Anniversary
They had lived together in the backwoods for over fifty years. To celebrate their fiftieth anniversary, he took her to a large city and they checked into a plush hotel.
She said to the bellman, “We refuse to settle for such a small room. No windows, no bed, and no air conditioning.”
“But, madam!”, replied the bellman.
“Don’t ‘But madam’ me,” she continued. “You can’t treat us like we’re a couple of fools just because we don’t travel much, and we’ve never been to the big city, and never spent the night at a hotel. I’m going to complain to the manager.”
“Madam,” the bellman said, “this isn’t your room; this is the elevator!”
These are great!! I remember having quite a few of those pens. Those were the must haves in my day 😁😁I also remember that commercial with the owl and the lollipop 😁😁
Yeah. My aunt gave me one of those pens and I thought I was some kind of great artist.
🤣
All great ones. I found one of those pens on a parking lot when I was a kid. Jackpot! I too used to push my own jeep, jump in throw it in first and pop the clutch, then I was off. I never could find a starter to fit the old girl, so that was my mode for years while living at the beach. Don’t take too much time off, the world needs you at this time.
Thank you for the kind words. Yeah, my uncle had an old pickup and when the battery died he just made sure and parked where he was on a bit of a downhill slant.
Pearls of wisdom from our ancestors…I did the same.
Yeah, I used to park pointed down hill to get a head start on popping the clutch. It worked great on my Falcon but years later I knew I was in trouble one day when I ended up at the bottom of the hill and the Mustang was not running!
I drove one whole winter in a car with no reverse (we couldn’t afford to get it repaired). That sure makes you think twice about where you park…
That is the ever-lovin’ truth! I’ve done the same.
I actually got to be quite an expert on how to pop a clutch on my father’s car. Good stuff Herb 🤣🙃😎
There is a knack but my friend tried to use the valet parking at the hospital while visiting a friend and they just had her pull it off to a waiting area because none of them knew how to drive a stick and a couple of them didn’t understand what it was.
Ohh that’s funny 🤣😎🙃
Ahh, the owl and the Tootsie Pop. The answer, of course, is three.
Yes, sir. Thrrree.