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Well, It Could Have Happened That Way

Herb’s Blog, Herbdate 22671 – 945

Here’s the haps:

Okay, so some of the tech references in this story I found in an old email are probably outdated if not obsolete but the point is still valid.

A perfect illustration of what’s really wrong with this country

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, “If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?” Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, “Sure, why not?”

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3® cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry® and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to the cowboy and says, “You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.”

“That’s right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,” says Bud. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Bud says to the young man, “Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?”

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, “Okay, why not?”

“You’re a Congressman for the U.S. Government,” says Bud.

“Wow! That’s correct,” says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?”

“No guessing required.” answered the cowboy. “You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don’t know a thing about how working people make a living – or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep. Now give me back my dog.”

Comments

19 responses to “Well, It Could Have Happened That Way”

  1. kagould17 Avatar

    You had me until the last meme Herb.

  2. capost2k Avatar

    I wish I had finished my coffee before reading this. Now I have to dry my face and change my shirt!! 😂😂😂

  3. Jim Borden Avatar

    I liked the surprise ending! 🙂

    but I have to admit I am jealous of that yuppie having all that technology at his disposal 🙂

  4. Tony Laplume Avatar

    I think I’ve read a version of this before. Still funny!

  5. dumbestblogger Avatar

    Well that’s fantastic.

  6. An Artist Named M Avatar

    This is funny because it truly reflects all parts of the US Government…not just the current Democratic Congress under the Biden Administration as noted in the meme accompanying this post.

  7. An Artist Named M Avatar

    It just that any one that runs for anything is a blowhard who pretends to listen to and “work” for the people but is truly in it only for themselves.

  8. Amber Avatar

    Well…i have no idea how to respond to this.

    1. Herb Avatar

      Just go, “hmmm…” like you always do.

  9. Garfield Hug Avatar

    I enjoyed this very much Herb! Good job!

  10. J P Avatar

    “You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are”

    This little phrase can be used in so many ways and so many places about so many people in our modern technocratic society.

    1. Herb Avatar

      Very true.

  11. Jacqui Murray Avatar

    That was fun.

    1. Jacqui Murray Avatar

      🙂

  12. AJMcGregor Avatar

    This is sssoooo cute! I didn’t see the end coming at all and I did laugh out loud.

  13. cheriewhite Avatar

    😂🤣😂🤣 The ending is hilarious! I’m dead!

    1. Herb Avatar

      😉

  14. Chel Owens Avatar

    👏🏻👏🏻 I knew you were building up to something. Then more. Then more… did not disappoint.

    1. Herb Avatar

      Thanks!

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