Herb’s Blog, Herbdate 22570 – 883
Here’s the haps:
I found this in my email archive. It’s about 7 years old. Larry T. sent it to me back then. One of the joys of Gmail is you can keep stuff forever. It’s not as old as some of the stuff I’ve posted though.
My generation was HOME SCHOOLED in many ways.
- My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
“If you’re going to kill each other do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”
- My mother taught me RELIGION.
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”
- My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
“If you don’t straighten up I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”
- My father taught me LOGIC.
“Because I said so, that’s why.”
- My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
“If you fall out of that swing and break your neck you’re not going to the store with me.”
- My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
“Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you’re in an accident.”
- My father taught me IRONY.
“Keep crying and I’ll give you something to cry about.”
- My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
“Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”
- My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
“Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”
- My mother taught me about STAMINA.
“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”
- My mother taught me about WEATHER.
“This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”
- My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
“If I told you once I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”
- My father taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out…”
- My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
“Stop acting like your father!”
- My mother taught me about ENVY.
“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”
- My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
“Just wait until we get home.”
- My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
“You are going to get it from your father when you get home!”
- My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes they are going to get stuck that way.”
- My mother taught me ESP
“Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”
- My father taught me HUMOR.
“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes don’t come running to me.”
- My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
“If you don’t eat your vegetables you’ll never grow up.”
- My mother taught me GENETICS.
“You’re just like your father.”
- My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
“Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?”
- My mother taught me WISDOM.
“When you get to be my age you’ll understand.
- My father taught me about JUSTICE.
“One day you’ll have kids and I hope they turn out just like you.”
It’s amazing how universal the expressions of parenthood are!
It really is.
Yep, those travel well.
This was great! I remember hearing quite a few when I was a kid. 🤣🤣
A lot of people have been saying that.
Think of all the kids who didn’t get this knowledge and had to learn on their own…
I guess life is tough, huh?
Oh, how many of these have we all heard in our young lives. The question is, would we dare say them now? Great share Herb. Allan
Good question. Maybe not all of them exactly the same way…
This is funny, especially “Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you’re in an accident”. I did hear a story that a friend’s friend was in a car accident. When she was in the ambulance rushed to the hospital, all she could think was her underwear. It was white but half dyed pink since she washed it with some clothes that shed color during the washing process. She didn’t want to throw it away since it is otherwise still wearable.
It’s funny what your mind goes to in a stressful situation like that.
These are wonderful. And I have probably said a few of them over the years.
I think we all have.
Although I certainly wouldn’t endorse anyone saying this stuff as a parent of the year or anything, some of them are funny, and at least was definitely intended to be. Hopefully.
(at least one was…)
My favorite has always been that you’ll have children and they’ll be just like you. And it’s true, lol.
the wisdom of our elders – it’s timeless…
I’m pretty sure I’ve said a few of these things myself. Now I know how valuable the lesson I was teaching was!
Lol. It goes full circle, I think.
Yes the good ol’ growing up times
You know it well?
My father taught me punnishment If you die doing that I’ll never speak to you again
lol. I hear that.
I have heard some of yours but That was my Favorite 🤣😂🤣