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Throw It Back Thursday on Tuesday – The Country and Western Celery Song

Herb’s Blog, Herbdate 22460 – 852:

Here’s the haps:

I was over at the incorrectly named Dumbest Blog Ever and read with increasing sadness how the DumbestBlogger was afraid he wouldn’t make it as a country musician because the only sponsor he could find was the Celery Growers Union and he didn’t know any songs about celery. Since he has been a good and faithful friend to this blog for so long I thought I would help him out. The following song is fully copyright protected. Except I hereby bequeath the rights to The Dumbest Blogger. If he wants it. Dumbest may be able to write the music his own self, ah don’t know.

Celery Country
Lyrics by Herb Thiel – rights reserved

Mah momma left with mah truck
The day mah wife Sue got out of the jug
I knew I was down on mah luck
When she backed over mah poor dog

“Momma,” I cried, “Please don’t leave me
I know not where I should go
Mah horse broke a leg and can’t hold me
And I just cain’t run any mo’”

It was then that I remembered
The days of my youth so carefree
Carryin’ on through the leafy green fields
Of dearly beloved celery

Oh celery, beautiful celery
So lovely and leafy and green
It can cure all your heartaches
Even if your Momma been mean

I went down to the little white church house
I knelt at the altar to pray
From out of his office my pastor came out
And this is what he had to say


Mah son, Jesus will help you
But he gave us the answer you see
We live in an Edenic area too
Just give them all celery


Well, I went and got me some celery
Fetched it out to mah whole family, too
It made the dog and the horse feel better-ly
And even mah Momma and Sue

The goodness of celery done helped us
I even painted mah truck green
Thank God that He created cel’ry for us
It’s almost as good as beans

Final Chorus


33 responses to “Throw It Back Thursday on Tuesday – The Country and Western Celery Song”

  1. swabby429 Avatar

    This should be sung at The Grand Ole Opry….or at least on the radio at suppertime.

    1. Herb Avatar

      lol! Thank you kindly, sir.

  2. Amber Avatar

    Oh my

    1. Herb Avatar

      Oh your what?

  3. Lisa Mae ❤️ Avatar

    I am sure he’ll be very appreciative, Herb. The song is quite organic with plenty of fertilizer!

    1. Herb Avatar


  4. mattsnyder1970 Avatar

    if he don’t want it I’ll gladly record it 😁

    1. Herb Avatar

      lol. Wow. I may take you up on that.

      1. mattsnyder1970 Avatar

        Ya know unless you write me a rival celery song ?

        1. Herb Avatar

          Another celery song? Hmmm… Maybe we could do a K-Tel presents Best of Celery. 20 celery songs by assorted artists.

          1. mattsnyder1970 Avatar

            Sure why not…I’ll do it all Acapella in multiple styles..if your could be our collaboration post

            1. Herb Avatar

              Let me do some pondering…

              1. mattsnyder1970 Avatar

                Please do 😁

  5. AJMcGregor Avatar

    Little did we know that what the world was missing was a song about celery. Absolutely inspired!

    1. Herb Avatar

      Sometimes I are talented.

      1. AJMcGregor Avatar

        You is. 😊

  6. Jacqui Murray Avatar

    I like it a lot, Herb, but you know it’s not really a country song without a train. You got the dog, mama, truck, angst, but no train.

    1. Herb Avatar

      Aww, man! And I thought it was going to top the charts. Hmmm…

      1. Jacqui Murray Avatar

        Maybe throw ‘train’ into the title. Not sure how…

        1. Herb Avatar

          lol. That might help.

  7. Geoff Stamper Avatar

    Crazy good. I am glad I saw your effort before I attempted one!

    1. Herb Avatar

      lol. You should still try.

  8. dumbestblogger Avatar

    This is good stuff. I will be recording post haste.

    1. Herb Avatar


    2. mattsnyder1970 Avatar

      I hope yours is better than mine, I gave a stab at it

      1. dumbestblogger Avatar

        Haha, nice! I gave it a listen. Very fun!

  9. hjonasson Avatar

    Beautiful – and with all the aspects of a proper country song – Mamma, dog, truck….

    1. Herb Avatar

      lol. Thank you so much.

  10. […] about how mattsnyder1970 jumped the gun and made a recording of my Country & Western song, Celery Country. He did it in his post For The Love Of Celery. He did it A Capella and it was really quite the […]

  11. haoyando Avatar

    I clicked the link and read the aspiring country musician’s post. It’s fascinating. Every country singer has to have a sponsor–I haven’t thought about that. I guess he can’t recycle those songs written for other vegetables before, like tomatoes, cauliflowers etc.

    1. Herb Avatar

      Hahahaha! A Country & Western version of Attack of the Killer Tomatoes would be pretty wild.

  12. J P Avatar

    If I had been here sooner I could have saved you a lot of work. Celery Stalks At Midnight was an instrumental hit for the Will Bradley band in 1940 and a vocal version was released by the Les Brown band in 1941 (featuring a really young Doris Day doing the singing). I’ll bet any country musician worth his salt (or maybe peanut butter since we’re talking celery) could countrify it pretty easily. These are easily found on that site that rhymes with execute.

    I never actually thought this knowledge would have any use beyond simply musical enjoyment.

    1. Herb Avatar

      I saw the Doris Day version but I wanted to do my own, anyway.

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