Do You Know Where Your Towel — wait, no — Your Bible Is At?

Do You Know Where Your Towel — wait, no — Your Bible Is At?

Herb May 25, 2021

Herb’s Blog, Herbdate 22390 – 839:

Here’s the haps:

Today is celebrated by Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy fans as, “Towel Day.”  Now, to be fair, I used to think that I was a really big fan of the series, having read all six books in the trilogy, especially the first four, so many times that I have lost count.  I re-read it every time I loan it to someone so I can remember all the fun parts they are going to talk to me about.  I have listened to the original radio shows almost as many times.  I had a couple of the phonograph records and comic books as well, but in the process of time, some stuff has gone.  If you’ve read my, “About Me” page you may have noticed a mention of it there.  But, I have since discovered that when it comes to being a fan of Douglas Adams’ and his works, I am a novice.

The word “fan” is short for fanatic and there are some truly rabid, fanatical, towel-waving Adamsites out there.  They not only can quote all of his major and minor works but every interview he’s ever done, every interview his friends and relations have done, and probably what his father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate said as well.  Tragically, he was only 49 when he died of a heart attack and left behind a wife and daughter.  That is incredibly sad for someone so young.  But, as I observe around the interwebs, I realized that I didn’t/don’t love him, love him as you might have expected.  I just really like his writing a lot.

But, I do have a trivia question you might not see at other sites:  How many generations are there from Abraham to Christ?  Forty-two.

There is, however, an author I do love, love.  I’ve had many personal, powerful one-to-one encounters with Him and know Him personally, have read His book through, cover-to-cover, more times than I can remember and actually do want to emulate Him and be as much like Him as I possibly can.

Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Heb 12:2 KJV

On September 9th, 2019 I wrote a post called KJV or NIV and did a comparison chart between the Scriptures delivered by the Textus Receptus versus other manuscripts.  I was presented with a question recently about the commonly used ESV as well and so decided to expand this table.  There is significant watering down of basic truths in the other versions.  We need repentance, we need the Blood of Jesus, we need to understand there is a Heaven to gain and a Hell to shun and they are real places.

Version Comparison

KJVNIVESV
John 1:1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.John 1:1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was a God.Joh 1:1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
Luke 9:56 For the Son of man is not come to destroy men’s lives, but to save them. And they went to another village.Luke 9:56 and they went to another village.Luk 9:56 And they went on to another village.
Matt. 18:11 For the Son of man is come to save that which was lost.Matt. 18:11 (missing)Matt. 18:11 (missing)
Matt. 9:13 …I am not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.Matt. 9:13 …I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.Mat 9:13 Go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, and not sacrifice.’ For I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.”
Isaiah 66:24 And they shall go forth, and look upon the carcases of the men that have transgressed against me: for their worm shall not die, neither shall their fire be quenched; and they shall be an abhorring unto all flesh.Isaiah 66:24 And they will go out and look on the dead bodies of those who rebelled against me; the worms that eat them will not die, the fire that burns them will not be quenched, and they will be loathsome to all mankind.Isa 66:24 “And they shall go out and look on the dead bodies of the men who have rebelled against me. For their worm shall not die, their fire shall not be quenched, and they shall be an abhorrence to all flesh.”
Mark 9:43 And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched:
44 Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched.
45 And if thy foot offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter halt into life, than having two feet to be cast into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched:
46 Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched.
47 And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out: it is better for thee to enter into the kingdom of God with one eye, than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire:
48 Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched.
Mark 9:43 If your hand causes you to stumble, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life maimed than with two hands to go into hell, where the fire never goes out.
44 (missing)
45 And if your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life crippled than to have two feet and be thrown into hell.
46 (missing)
47 And if your eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell,
48 where the worms that eat them do not die, and the fire is not quenched.
Mar 9:43-48 And if your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life crippled than with two hands to go to hell, to the unquenchable fire.
44 (missing)
45 And if your foot causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life lame than with two feet to be thrown into hell.
46 (missing)
47 And if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into hell,
48 ‘where their worm does not die and the fire is not quenched.’
Mark 3:15 …power to heal sickness, and to cast out devilsMark 3:15 …authority to drive out demons.Mar 3:15 and have authority to cast out demons.
Matt. 5:44 …Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.Matt. 5:44 …Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.Mat 5:44 But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,
Mark 11:26 But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.Mark 11:26 (missing)Mark 11:26 (missing)
Luke 2:33 And Joseph and his mother marveled at those things which were spoken of him.Luke 2:33 The child’s father and mother marveled at what was said about him.
(Joseph was only the stepfather.)
Luk 2:33 And his father and his mother marveled at what was said about him.
(Joseph was only the stepfather.)
Luke 22:64 And when they had blindfolded him, they struck him on the face, and asked him, saying, Prophesy, who is it that smote thee?Luke 22:64 They blindfolded him and demanded, “Prophesy! Who hit you?”Luk 22:64 They also blindfolded him and kept asking him, “Prophesy! Who is it that struck you?”
John 1:18 No man hath seen God at any time; the only begotten Son, which is in the bosom of the Father, he hath declared him.John 1:18 No one has ever seen God, but God the One and Only, who is at the Father’s side, has made him known.Joh 1:18 No one has ever seen God; the only God, who is at the Father’s side, he has made him known.
John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whosoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.Joh 3:16 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.
John 3:18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.John 3:18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.Joh 3:18 Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God.
John 6:47 Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me hath everlasting life.John 6:47 I tell you the truth, he who believes has everlasting life.Joh 6:47 Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes has eternal life.
John 16:16 A little while, and ye shall not see me: and again a little while, and ye shall see me, because I go to the Father.John 16:16 In a little while you will see me no more, and then after a little while you will see me.Joh 16:16 “A little while, and you will see me no longer; and again a little while, and you will see me.”
I Cor. 5:7 …Christ our passover is sacrificed for us:I Cor. 5:7 …Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed.1Co 5:7 Cleanse out the old leaven that you may be a new lump, as you really are unleavened. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed.
1Cor 10:28 But if any man say unto you, This is offered in sacrifice unto idols, eat not for his sake that shewed it, and for conscience sake: for the earth is the Lord’s, and the fulness thereof:1 Cor 10:28 But if someone says to you, “This has been offered in sacrifice,” then do not eat it, both for the sake of the one who told you and for the sake of conscience.1Co 10:28 But if someone says to you, “This has been offered in sacrifice,” then do not eat it, for the sake of the one who informed you, and for the sake of conscience—
Colossians 1:14 In whom we have redemption through his blood, even the forgiveness of sins:Colossians 1:14 In whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.Col 1:14 in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.
Revelation 1:11 Saying, I am Alpha and Omega, the first and the last:and, What thou seest, write in a book, and send it unto the seven churches which are in Asia; unto Ephesus, and unto Smyrna, and unto Pergamos, and unto Thyatira, and unto Sardis, and unto Philadelphia, and unto Laodicea.Revelation 1:11 which said: “Write on a scroll what you see and send it to the seven churches: to Ephesus, Smyrna, Pergamum, Thyatira, Sardis, Philadelphia and Laodicea.Rev 1:11 saying, “Write what you see in a book and send it to the seven churches, to Ephesus and to Smyrna and to Pergamum and to Thyatira and to Sardis and to Philadelphia and to Laodicea.”
Revelation 5:14 And the four beasts said, Amen. And the four and twenty elders fell down and worshipped him that liveth for ever and ever.Revelation 5:14 the four living creatures said “Amen,” and the elders fell down and worshipped.Rev 5:14 And the four living creatures said, “Amen!” and the elders fell down and worshiped.
Revelation 8:13 And I beheld, and heard an angel flying through the midst of heaven, saying with a loud voice, Woe, woe, woe, to the inhabiters of the earth by reason of the other voices of the trumpet of the three angels, which are yet to sound!Revelation 8:13 As I watched, I heard an eagle that was flying in midair call out in a loud voice: “Woe! Woe! Woe to the inhabitants of the earth, because of the trumpet blasts about to be sounded by the other three angels!”Rev 8:13 Then I looked, and I heard an eagle crying with a loud voice as it flew directly overhead, “Woe, woe, woe to those who dwell on the earth, at the blasts of the other trumpets that the three angels are about to blow!”
Revelation 20:12 And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works.Revelation 20:12 And I saw the dead, great and small, standing before the throne and books were opened. Another book was opened, which is the book of life. The dead were judged according to what they had done as recorded in the books.Rev 20:12 And I saw the dead, great and small, standing before the throne, and books were opened. Then another book was opened, which is the book of life. And the dead were judged by what was written in the books, according to what they had done.
Revelation 21:24 And the nations of them which are saved shall walk in the light of it: and the kings of the earth do bring their glory and honour into it.Revelation 21:24 The nations will walk by its light, and the kings of the earth will bring their spledor into it.Rev 21:24 By its light will the nations walk, and the kings of the earth will bring their glory into it,

For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book: (19) And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book. (20) He which testifieth these things saith, Surely I come quickly. Amen. Even so, come, Lord Jesus.

Rev 22:18-20 KJV

32 thoughts on “Do You Know Where Your Towel — wait, no — Your Bible Is At?

  1. I have never read any of The Hitchhiker’s Guide. But I have at least read the Bible.

    I enjoyed this comparison. As the token Catholic here, I can agree that many modern translations are deficient in capturing the subtleties of many older translations. Where we may part company is in my belief that the variety in human interpretation of any given translation may be more pernicious than any variances between translations themselves.

    I think our world would be a much nicer place if this were the most serious debate among we humans.

    1. You know, I think you are right about that. Actually, there is at least one other Catholic who stops by here from time to time.

  2. As a Brian worshipper myself, I’ve always found it intriguing that the bible can be at the same time “the literal word of god” and “in need of amendment”. Can you explain it to me? Some have told me that those who made amendments to the original were working under the direction of god to do so; but that avoids addressing the question of why the original had to be amended in the first place. To my mind, either god is infallible… or she’s not.

            1. I find that every critic of the Bible I have ever had this conversation with has never read it and knows little or nothing of what it contains or is about.

            2. /shrug. Again, that’s irrelevant. I asked you a simple question, and you’ve avoided it several times.

  3. I’ve often wondered if the world would be more peaceful without religion. Politics and religion seem to be the wedge issues in the world. I think the most important statement in the Bible is “God is Love” and those are the words that I try to live by.

    1. Neither of those things has to be divisive (You think the world would be more peaceful without religion but keep the politics?), it’s getting grownups to act like grownups that’s the problem.

      1. Oh… I think that religion can’t help but be divisive. To disturb peace, to have a war, you need opposing sides. There’s literally nothing more in opposition than two camps who each believe that they have the one true grip on ‘reality’ and ‘the truth’… and that they have the divine right to impose their views upon those who don’t believe as they do.

        Politics, now… that need not be as destructive. ‘Politics’ is a word that means “the set of activities that are associated with making decisions in groups, or other forms of power relations between individuals, such as the distribution of resources or status.” It just describes folks trying to get along.

        “Grownups” is a much-abused word. Greta Thunberg, for instance, is far more the adult in the room than any number of ‘world leaders’ I could name.

        1. I thought the definition of politics was, “Poli means many, ticks means blood sucking parasites.”

        2. When the charming Miss Thunberg tells Xi Jinping to free the Uighur Muslim slaves I’ll be more impressed.

          1. How about having our world ‘leaders’ do that — as, indeed, they should be? Greta is just a child. Did you elect her?

            1. I think that’s my point. The darling child is being held up as a latter day prophet when in reality she’s just a kid.

            2. … ‘just a kid’ that speaks a damn sight more sense than world leaders. Your point being, what, exactly?

            3. Speaks more sense to you because she holds the Holy Grail of your religion, Climate Change.

            4. Aha! So we come to it: you’re in denial of climate change — not a religion, but an understanding based upon scientific research and decades of research.

  4. You are such a fanatical fan of Douglas Adams. LOL. I read half of ” Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy” and still couldn’t get into it. I can’t do science fictions, but I admire people who do. I have friends who tried hard to convert me into science fiction fans so that I could watch Star Trek with them, but I just couldn’t convert. LOL. I am agnostic, but I admire people with faith. There are not too much differences except one angle is changed to one eagle.

    1. I think some genres, like science fiction, are an acquired taste. Whenever I read or listen to a story I tend to focus on the characters and if they behave like a person would in that situation.
      Yes, if you’ve never read the Bible or very little of it I can see where the differences would be lost. I do the best I can to live my life by it so it’s important to me. This blog has a kind of hodge-podge of different subjects.

    2. I don’t view “The Hitchhiker’s Guide” as science fiction. It’s a masterful work of comedy. Adams’ command of the English language is in play at every turn, such as in one of my favourite lines:

      The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t.

    1. Ah. Well, some of the things in some of these scriptures are important and would water down strong doctrine. It might depend on how much a person reads and studies the Bible, also.

  5. Great comparison chart. I always love those because it prices how much people remove from the Word of God.

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