Stab Your Salad 23 Times

Herb’s Blog, Herbdate 23048 – 1082

Here’s the haps:

Today is the fifteenth of March. Day number 74 of this year which is exactly 20% over. I had this thought about the middle of this month, it was one of my ideas of March.

Today the weather is very pleasant and will be in the sixties. Tomorrow it will be in the thirties with snow flurries and I shall have to beware the ice of March.

Don’t be angry, but today is the fifteenth. Beware the ires of March!

Please don’t say, “I told you so.” Beware the chides of March.

When Mrs. Simpson glares at you you’d better beware the eyes of Marge.

The official restaurant of the fifteenth of July is Little Caesars.

But I think you should celebrate the fifteenth of March by eating a donut. In fact, eat two, brute.

Was Julius Caesar the first Holey Roman Emperor?

My time-traveling friend, Sabot, and I tried to save the emperor. We saw the old fortune teller reading the leaves of her salad. “Grab her!” I said, thinking our hope might lie in the prophecy not being uttered, but he froze. He couldn’t do it, even after I yelled, “Chicken! Seize her salad!”

24 Comments

  1. 20% is already gone? Unbelievable. Time is flying. Somehow I tried to comment on your pi post yesterday, but somehow was told that I couldn’t do it by WP. How strange. I hope this post is ok to receive my comment.

    • I’m really sorry that happened. It has happened to others but it’s pretty random and can’t nail down what causes it. I always appreciate you stopping by and commenting.

  2. Very clever, Herb! Great post. I wish I could come up with my own pun on the Ides of March, but I simply can’t. I’m pretty sure that Peter could, however. 😊

  3. I will remember to stab my salad. Going to be 80 today here in Granbury, then storms this afternoon and freezing weather on Friday night, and we planted many plants last week, so now I have to cover everything with plastic and hope they make it through. Texas, what can you say.

    • Wow that worked. I have tried several times on the Pi post to say: When my wife was teaching Fourth Grade, she would call me at work during her recess and Math breaks to ask me Math questions. She eventually found teaching Second Grade and Special Ed much more comfortable.

    • I’m really sorry. I have been trying to make sure the cache on the blog is cleared out and that may be helping some. I feel bad when that happens to people and it’s so random, too.

  4. These were fabulously horrible. But the meme with the knife in the bottle is all wrong. Everyone knows they didn’t stab Caesar dressing. They waited until he was going to the senate.

    This is also a bad time of year to walk barefoot in the woods because of insects. Beware the mites of arch.

    • 😂🤣I really did laugh out loud and did a double face palm.🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️ My wife came by and asked what was going on. I told her and she just rolled her eyes, shook her head and walked away. Genius!! 💡💡

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