Breaking News – Something Sweet‽ Is Augustus Gloop Really A Nincompoop‽

Herb’s Blog, Herbdate 22868 – 997

Here’s the haps:

Well, I somehow missed a major, significant news story in June. Two employees at an M & M Mars factory fell into a vat of chocolate. Now I want to know, how does something like this happen? I mean, I know what happened with the greedy Augustus Gloop (I only know the book and the 1971, Gene Wilder, version) who kind of got what he deserved:

And of course, the only other person I ever heard of this happening to was Tommy Smothers:

But I expect that neither Augustus nor Tommy were properly trained. Now, I know nothing about these people in this story except that they were employees and there were two of them. I expect you have to have some modicum of training to run these machines. How do you have two people wind up waist-deep in chocolate? One person might have a freak accident, sure, but two? First responders had to cut a hole in the side of the vat to get them out. Well, we know two things are going to happen for sure. Lawyers are going to be involved and OSHA is working on a new safety handbook, You and Chocolate – Safety First.


  1. Well I’m definitely sad I can’t partake in chocolate to that degree anymore, but I do agree with chocolate otherwise

  2. Love your chocolate post, especially the one involves pandas. It is true. I feel that the diet choice of bamboo is a little weird, don’t you think? I mean bamboo has a lot of fibers but not very nutritious.

  3. My question: what happened to the vat of chocolate after they got the guys out? Did it go into the landfill? The sewage system? Or use it for a new candy bar flavored for cannibals?

    • That last would be a marketing gimmick…”Soylent Green – The Candy Bar” now with authentic…never mind. I couldn’t find anything that said what happened to it or even how it happened in the first place, Tommy Smothers’ explanation aside, of course.

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