Herb’s blog, Herbdate 22113-684:
I found this in a folder marked “jokes” and thought I would share them with you. Some people might agree that they fit well with the “Throw It Back Thursday” idea. I received these two in an email from Herbdate 14815 aka Aug 28, 2000.
LESSONS FROM KIDS
It’s more fun to color outside the lines.
If you’re gonna draw on the wall, do it behind the couch.
Ask “why” until you understand.
Save a place in line for your friends.
If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.
Making your bed IS a waste of time.
If your dog doesn’t like somebody, you probably shouldn’t either.
Toads aren’t ugly…they’re just toads.
Just keep banging until someone opens the door.
Don’t pop someone else’s bubble.
You shouldn’t ask to start over just because you’re losing the
Chasing the cat is more fun than catching it.
The chief of staff of the US Army decided that he would personally intervene in the recruiting crisis affecting all of our armed services. He directed a nearby military installation to be opened and that all eligible young men and women be invited.
As he and his staff were standing near a brand new M-1 Battle Tank, a pair of twin, well-built, neatly-kept brothers who looked like they had just stepped out of a recruiting poster walked up to them. The chief of staff walked up to them, stuck out his hand, and introduced himself.
He looks at the first young man and asks, “Son, what skills can you bring to the best Army in the world?”
The young man looks at him and says, “I’m a pilot!”
The general gets all excited, turns to his aide, and says, “Get him in today, all the paperwork done, everything, do it!”
The aide hustles the young man off. The general looks at the second young man and asks, “What skills do you bring?”
The young man says, “I chop wood!”
“Son,” the general replies, “We don’t need wood choppers in the Army, what do you know how to do?”
“I chop wood!”
“Young man,” huffs the general, “You are not listening to me, we don’t need wood choppers, this is the 20th century and our battles are fought with our minds as much as with our bodies!”
“Well,” the young man says, “You hired my brother!”
“Of course we did,” says the general, “He’s a pilot!”
The young man rolls his eyes and says, “Duh! I have to chop It before he can pile it!”