I am committed to trying to post something every single day for as long as I can. That doesn’t mean that every one is going to be a real winner. The thing is, though, that some of these jokes are so old you may have forgotten them after your great-grandpa told them to you the way he heard them from his grandpa. From 4/22/00:
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables. When he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, “Jesus is watching you!”
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off and froze in his tracks. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, promised himself a vacation after the next big score, then clicked the light back on and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell again he heard, “Jesus is watching you!”
Freaked out, he shone his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. In the far corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
“Did you say that?” He hissed at the parrot.
“Yes,” the parrot confessed, then squawked, “I’m trying to warn you.”
The burglar relaxed. “Warn me, huh? Who are you?”
“Moses,” replied the parrot.
“Moses?” the bugler laughed. “What kind of morons would name a parrot Moses?”
“Probably the same kind of morons that would name a Rotweiller Jesus.”